What happens when you do everything you can to make something work but it simply doesn’t? Do you continue to try until there is no end or do you finally realize that you just might be the problem?
Take for instance a pair of shoes. You don’t like them and they are too small. The shoes are pink and you’ve always hated pink. The soles of the shoes have been completely worn down because you have constantly forced them on until they finally fit but the consequences of them fitting surely outweigh the benefits.
Are The Shoes Wrong?
No! The shoes aren’t wrong. The shoes were made for someone with a shoe size of 8 and for someone who thoroughly enjoys the color of pink. Shoes are shoes. They have no ability to make decisions.
In other words, just like you can’t change shoes, neither can you change people. People will be exactly who they are and it’s up to you to make the decision to leave if that person doesn’t “fit” into your life.
Why Force What Doesn’t Fit?
In life, we have to understand that people are people. People don’t change. Not for you, not for me, and sometimes not even for themselves. Only God can change people IF they want to be changed.
Just like shoes that don’t fit, Each time you make a decision to force a person to change, you are become the problem. You see, that person wasn’t meant for who you currently are. The past doesn’t matter. What matters is now. Although there was a time when you could fit a size 8, that time is no longer here.
Are there any benefits of forcing a shoe to fit that isn’t your size? Are there any benefits of forcing a relationship to work that you’ve outgrown?
I hope you’ve answered no or we might have a bigger problem! Sometimes we have to stop placing blame on others and take accountability that we are the problem.
The Negative Consequences of Being Forceful
Sacrificing comfort = Discomfort
Sacrificing your future = Stagnation
Delaying your success = Failure
Prolonging problems = Delayed Solutions
Recreating the negative Experience = Mental Paralysis
Creating wounds and trauma = Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, and so much more!
Despite the good times, you can’t place your future in anyone’s hands. Forget the good times and focus on the NOW!
Analyze the Current State Compared With Future State
Do you see things getting better? Do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to prove your worth to someone? If this is all you have to look forward to in this person, will this be enough for you? You have to ask yourself the hard questions. Most good women are selfless. We don’t want to hurt the feelings of others so we sacrifice our own happiness. We would rather deal with a state of uncertainty, instability, and confusion than walk into our purpose. After answering those questions, I hope things begin to become clearer.
I know you’re tired of waiting on that man to make a decision for you. Most men don’t leave. There are plenty of women that are ok with having a piece of a man rather than being alone which leaves a man in a state of comfort with always getting his needs met by someone.
Most times, men don’t leave and if they do it’s not permanent. Why should they? As a result, you are meeting their needs. with just your presence because you are a gift. Sure you complain, but eventually you give in over and over and end up at square one again. You never progress in the relationship yet you feel you have.
It’s Time For You to Make a Change
Forget waiting on him to tell you that it’s over because he’s not. Until you make a decision that this is the last day that you’ll ever give someone other than God power to make decisions for you, power to prolong your success, power to sacrifice your future, you will continue to be the problem, your problem.
This is your life! This is Your future. Above all, you are worth more than you know. The love you’re looking for is already inside of you.
The first step in finding the solution is choosing you and removing any thing, place, or person that separates you from yourself.
In conclusion, what makes us the problem isn’t other people or external factors. What makes us the problem is forcing a shoe on that doesn’t fit or forcing a relationship to work that clearly isn’t. We must care about ourselves more than to deal with the things that don’t create pure love and happiness in our current and future states of being.
You can do it❤️